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Sad & guilty

Hi All

Just joined and wanted to share.  We lost our beloved border collie, Kelly on Dec 1st.  He was 16 and had a great life, I grieved for him but thought I was coping.  The last time we lost a dog about 6 years ago we got another one (Pomeranian X Bonnie) very quickly, and decided to do the same this time.  Only this time we didn't choose so well.  I chose a beautiful border/kelpie who I wanted to train for dog sports.  He was a lovely dog who settled in well and bonded with us quickly. Only he was also boisterous and noisy and in Bonnie's face all the time, and he stressed her out completely.  We had to take him back to the shelter after 3 weeks because Bonnie was becoming ill with stress.

I feel consumed with guilt because I kind of knew in my heart when I got him that he wasn't the sort of dog Bonnie would cope well with, but I wanted him for myself and convinced myself that she'd get used to him.  I feel that I let him bond with us and then abandoned him.  It has also brought back all my grief over Kelly's death, and now I'm crying for both of them.  My husband thinks I should be over it by now and gets impatient when I talk about it. 

Just wanted to talk to someone who understands.  Thanks for listening.


  • Avatar-100
    Author Celeste Member since Jan 19, 2012

Post Comments

    • piney
      piney     Posted on Feb 07, 2012

      Hi there, Dont feel guilty, we all need to replace our lost mates in different ways and it is hard when our other animals dont get along, it is very likely that the collie/kelpie would of found a new home where he is now running around being as noisy as he likes, it wasnt your fault that Bonnie couldnt cope and although deep down you feel bad, dont you did the right thing for your little Bonnie and one day you will find the perfect companion for her.

      As for your husband thinking you should be over it, sometimes it takes some people longer than others to grieve and accept loss, I lost my beloved Pebs 6 months ago next week and I still mourn her everyday, I dont care what anyone says as they didnt know the bond we had and the loss I felt when I lost her, I really hope everything works out for you in the future.

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